Hello fellow tumblr-ers,
So this is super random and I want to be clear from the beginning that I am really, really trying to be honest and respectful, so if anything I say is offensive, I sincerely apologize.
I’m working on my second novel, and one the characters is asexual. Originally I had planned to let this go unstated, but the lack of open, canon non-straight characters is bullshit so I’m going to make his sexuality explicit and overt. I had planned for him to be asexual for awhile, but the decision to make it clearly stated is newer.
Here’s where I need help: I’m not asexual, and I want to write the character in a way that is honest and reflective of the genuine experience of asexual people. I’ve been doing my research and reading a lot about it, but it would be really helpful to talk to an asexual person about their lived experiences.
I’ve tried my local LGBT group and gotten nothing. And even if they said “oh yeah, that person is asexual” I know it’s completely rude and inappropriate to go up to a stranger and start asking intimate questions about their sexuality.
How do I ask for this kind of information? Should I just base it on research? Not make the character canonically asexual, since I don’t have personal experience with it? Is there a way to find an asexual person to respectfully ask some questions as character research? I just want to be accurate and respectful while portraying a member of a community that I am not personally a member of. Opinions and suggestions requested, please!